I think that Seattle might be thrusting forth the Greatest Springtime I Have Ever Known. I'm up early enough now to catch both sunrise and sunset, ache-strewn fluffy clouds all stretched out in the morning sky, pink everything; craggy mountain passes at the day's end, reds and yellows and blues and more pink everything. I'm practically running into guardrails because I'm so caught up staring out the windows at all the bliss.
Tonight I was walking back from my car, realizing I had been here for nine months, freshly annihilated by the sunset, worn thin and toughened up from a good hard day's work, and I thought about all the springtime. Everywhere you go it smells like flora, like blossoms, like the air would be sweet if you could reach out and eat it somehow. My hair changes colors from week to week, and I drive home without thinking about it (in a good way) because I'm able to get around my square of town. Bright lights, big city, and I'm not moving on.
I've been toying with the idea of getting a scooter, and writing blog posts in my head, even though I've been off the junk for a while now. And just read Kristin's post, and it's so funny that we're both all in our own moments of the season. I'm opening windows and cleaning and mismatching my clothes just for fun, to match my sunshine patchwork insides. I know what time it is by which dj is on, and the days are not divided into love and hate. Everything's amazing. My boss practically dares us to keep up with him, and I didn't know I could vault into such challenge.
Kristin did a reading for me recently, and there were parts about being funky and trying on the new me, and she'd said how everything was going to open right up, and she just... she knew. She knows stuff. And she'll go, yeah, I think I've done a lot of this before. And I want to lay down next to her in a square of warm light to just absorb some of what seems to come to her so easily. Maybe that's why she pops up in practically every post, the GirlBug, pulling me in on her radar without even knowing. Or knowing, because she knows.
And really, I am seriously tossing around this scooter thing. Recklessly. Like, fuck it! I'll sell the car and worry about the rain when it rains, and worry about winter when it's winter. I think they call this Spring Fever. Or something just like it. Or maybe I'm just more alive then I've been in a long time, or maybe all of it. Maybe it's just all the blossom-flavored sweet bright everything. I don't know.
So now I hit the wall because I want to go poke around on Craigslist. But before I leave, the other funny thing I was writing about in my head today was how a few people I haven't talked to much at the new office came by and said hello, and I've been so busy that I don't notice much, and then I find out from one of the women there that some of the boys are afraid of me. Ring any bells out there? Apparently I work at the nonprofit bioresearch version of Melrose Place, and my little talk with the boss spread like wildfire - all the way back to the other building. I suppose they can just come and say whatever they have to say, and I'm not scared, and I took a situation in my life and addressed it and I'm - well, I'm getting some street cred. Apparently. I thought I was getting all the good insides that comes with taking care of yourself and standing up for yourself - but I'm winding up with a little extra, some r-e-s-p-e-c-t. And all I'm doing is setting the bar and laying a foundation, and life just shoots me up with a big bag of awesome. Day-job style.
Oh, ps, the crazy-time retreats are riddled with relationship-crossing makeout sessions. I kid you not. Tonight: "Well, it's not like, orgies or anything going on, but like - well, we all let our guards down and people are just sort of grabbing ass and hooking up sort of. Pulling skirts and making cardboard sleds to ride down hills with." And allusion to girl-on-girl action.
Geesh.
You crazy passive-aggressive West Coasters. I think it might be that we're both from back East, the thing that gets us past mornings like yesterday. Whatever it is, as I've ended most posts of late, I'll take it. Every shiny back-strengthening early-morning blissy-daylight KRDO-riddled girl-making-a-place-for-herself-in-the-world moment.
Hi. I live here.
No, really.
hearts,
vv
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