ships

and everything told me to go back, so I did, suddenly, crossing traffic to change my mind. I wanted so badly to find solace in those little orange lights, and to lose myself in the glow - but instead the moments got drowned out by strangers, their first-dates polites and nice-ities, and so I started down the block instead, fixed on the mirror of the lake shining back at me from the bottom of the hill. there were steps with a view, streetlamps and cityscape complete and so I sat. all drawn in by signs and surprises, aloha to boston, a parking spot in front of a white van and an open gate that I dreamed about and knew would be there long before I arrived. light-up vacancy signs, sinking ships all solitary through the back window - then the strains turned to "car" and I knew it was over, and that I had to go. there was terrible retching from an open window somewhere above the sidewalk, destroying all the perfect silence, and in just an instant everything got shattered, and I was gone as quickly as I had come.

and the songs that came on in-between broke me into a million shining pieces and made me whole, everything, all at once.

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