so on august 28th of last year, in the midst of bands and fun and bliss and such, I copped to not quite feeling right. and here I am a year later, not quite feeling right. now, all the stuff in between has changed - december of 2004, I was just waking up. and through december of '05 and beyond, I'm wide awake, and so forth. and I went after a bunch of bands. and I went after a bunch of photographs. and I wanted to move. and then I didn't want to move. and things waxed and waned.
I can't forget that these are periods of growth and change, that this is life, that life is not some gigantic exciting thing every single day. every day isn't a show, you know? there has to be time inbetween.
in december of 2004 I was in the branford apartment, waking up. I wrote and wrote about how I was finally able to say what I meant and to just - write. and just be. and then this december, being here with raf on christmas, and how much had changed... and then february, back to see malinda, and in march the wellbutrin starts, and the recovery process re-begins with a minor mental health bottom, and now that's flaring up again. but, like I said, even though I can see all that progress, I can't help but feel that something just isn't quite right.
all I know right now is that it's time for bed. I went from a girl going through a divorce, to an indie rock photographer and wannabe music journalist, to a barista and student and live-in girlfriend.
so I am doing something. okay. that feels better.
Leave a comment