so everyone is moving today it seems - the people upstairs have decided to cohabitate (which, by the way, would make for quite the wordy greeting card: congratulations on your cohabitation. or something.) and the people behind me are leaving, and the people next door are leaving too. lots of navigations and frustrations and trucks askew in the street.
I am thinking in web format, I just wrote PHOTO in that space, yet I drive here for my notebook tonight. I don't quite know what the difference is, or why my mind functions this way.
(coming out of my cage
and I was doing just fine)
and tonight I want to lay low. I'm not really up for anything and I was kind of an asshole today and maybe, just maybe my compulsive eating has something to do wtih how I am treating myself / feeling about myself - maybe it's more of a cycle than I realize. because after I talked to kristin for a while, the herbal tea suited me fine, and I didn't have that insatiable need anymore.
maybe I need to
bundle up
and walk the beach
at midnight
maybe I'd like you
if it weren't for
your laugh
maybe I'd be lighter
if I hadn't
lied today
maybe all these
strangers
make me feel safe
maybe all the
not talking
is just what I need
so I can be here
not talking
with just me
not listening
and I think the song
that's playing
is one I own
but haven't opened...
so now I'm lost and stunned, they're playing mark geary in starbucks and is this a sign? but how could it possibly have a god damn thing to do with me? like the plane, seemingly random - yet so interesting all the same...
another place
I'm at a loss
I must return
to what I know
but I don't want to miss
anything
in the meantime
in the meantime
last night
I knew it was you calling
to leave pieces of your heart
on my answering maching
and I'd never heard before of
the air siren sound of
the volunteer fireman alarm?
which came precisely between
your two calls
and tonight
the tea serves as wine
beautiful and grotesque
pungent heartache
waiting
for that perfect opening line.
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