for sharon, wherever I may find her

tonight, we prayed together
and I cried with relief for the second time in my life
twice in ten days now...
only tonight it was laced with fear
instead of joyousness...
see, when you disappeared
down the stairs
I wanted to take a
photograph
because I never know when the next time I see you will be.
and you made sure your last words were
I love you
before the car door
slammed
and shut off the sounds of the outside from me.
and I made sure that I
had my hand on your
brown sweater
while we listened
to moments of gratitude
and moments of death,
and we looked up at the exact same times
and now jonny is singing through my mind:
and you would know it instantly if I died
feel it way down deep inside
or if I turned my back on you
and cut the thread, you'd feel that too...

because when they speak of the funerals,
I often think of you
and when we pray for the lost souls,
you'll dance through my mind every once in a while
and when they talk about unbroken bonds,
we grab for each other's hands
because we don't always have to speak
and we always, always
understand
still
it was painful to not know you tonight,
until the ride home
until the fifteen minutes had passed
and the truth rang out
but really, nothing is more true
and consistent
for us
than this

and I type because I couldn't wait for my pen and my notebook and if I lose the moment, then it's gone forever, like you might be. at least now there's one of these I can save...